The journey


She irritates 
An angry being
She cries out
To tell her story
He can’t understand
He’s just not
Made for it
The profound
The mystic links
She speaks about

The coincidences 
To him
They do not matter
But they do
To her
She wants
Him 
To understand 

He can’t take it
The accusations 
The doctor says 
Give her the pill


She refuses
She’s not the problem
That’s what she think s
There’s no suicide
An impulsive act
A calculated one
She knows
The maximum dosage
That will help
Solve the problem
It boomerangs 

He thinks it is
An attempt
At suicide
He can’t let
His loved one
Suffer 
Or walk away 
Or die

He calls the doctor 
He tells him
The dosage
That she had
Told him

She won’t die
He assures
Take her
To a
Government hospital 

The neighbour arrives
The brother calls
Her parents consoled
Her brother checks
She will not die

If only they knew
That she knew
That she wouldn’t die
That  she knew
What she’d consumed
Was well within
The permissible limits

You need to come
They say
She knows what coming
She surrenders
Emotions welling in her heart
Buy calm
And quiet 


His heart is heavy
Trying his best
To stop the 
Tears welling up
Inside
He has to take her
There’s no other way 

No one wants 
This psycho
The private hospitals
Won’t admit

There they go
To 
The government hospital

Two patients
In a bed
Their relatives
Sleep underneath

The doctors they
Are  overworked
She feels compassion
But there’s nothing
She can do

Except
Maybe give
Some misplaced
Consolation 
Perhaps misleading 
Medical advice

It’s early morning
They have been shuffling
From department 
To another
Xrays
And other reports
She gets to sleep
On a bed
With a nurse
There’s no doctor
Blood dribbling out
From
The saline drip

She writes
To the doctor   
LISTEN TO THE PATIENT 
But  then
Nobody does

If only they knew it wasn’t 
Suicide 
They’d have packed her off
With medicine

They had no sleep
All three of them
The  mania sets in

They get a pipe 
To draw out the poison
She chokes with pain
She cannot scream
The pipe’s inside

He notices
Her tears
Stop he says

She calls the doctor
Get Anesthesia 
she says
They dip the pipe
In that numbing liquid
The pain is gone
The foul concoction 
Retched out
The poison probably 
Long gone

Now she’s back 
To another ward
No one gives her
Her medication 

The poor doctors
Overworked 

She’s dizzy
There’s no breakfast
A poor old lady
With two pairs of clothes
In the city
From a distant village
Seeking a cure
For her daughter’s
Undiagnosed illness 

She asks
She enquires
She’s not
Sophisticated 
Shocked to learn
I’m all alone
She brings it
A tiny box
And offers her
A large laddoo
She can’t accept
I’m sophisticated 
She has to save
For her daughter 
No she says
You are my daughter 
She take a bite
Is delicious
With homemade ghee
The poor has 
For once 
Helped the rich

He’s gone to find
A better place
She’s calm
But 
That’s a mirage
The mania 
Is rearing
It’s ugly head

The senior doctor
With his interns
Giving them
A monologue 
About what
I don’t recall
She goes up
And give her own
About 
How vital it is
To store
Their medical history 
Give them a file
Punch their papers in
And keep a parallel
In the hospital 
In case
They lose it
They listen in silence
Their expressions blank

Frustrated
She heads out
Down the stairs
And walks out
With the strength
And confidence
Of the mania
Or is it 
Of the mania?

On the streets 
Cars buzzing past
She have in mind 
A place to go
An unfinished business
The direction
She doesn’t know
She crosses the street 
A couple of times
Trough the traffic
Buzzing past
At high speeds
She’s weak
Just a laddoo
In ber belly
She strches her arm
Trying to get 
Someone to notice

She has nothing
No money
No cards
No phone
No direction
Just her clothes
And her slippers
And her faith

She wants to go
Where she once  worked
To ask for help

Not for herself
But for those
Kind old souls
Who cannot travel
As they can’t
Climb up those stairs
Of their crumbling 
Houses

Then a man stops his bike
I’ve ran out
Of the hospital
She tell him 
The  truth
I cannot talk you
All the way
I’ll drop you
At the crossroads

They talk about
Her motives
His life
And then they’re at
The crossroads 


Who he was 
She’ll never know
But he was 
I think
Just
Kindhearted
Human being

She walks a kilometer
And then She’s there
The place 
Where she worked
She tried to go in
She’s stalled
By the receptionist

Here clothes crumpled
Her face full of dirt
Her hair unwashed
Uncombed



She meets a person
He’s all nice
And his colleague
She’s recently joined

The one she seeks
The one
She thinks
Can help
Is no longer there

She tries to explain
To that man in white
But herbrain
Is a muddle

She begins to tell
A wrong story

He asks
For her husband’s 
Details
She tells  him
Where he works
She tells him
His numbers
But stops midway

Shes not going
Till she finished
What 
She’s come for

He is gone
To get in touch
With her husband
She’s talking 
Ti her
His colleague 


She looks and sees
Her husband colleagues
Smiling at her
They’re his friends
She tells her
They’re here canvassing 
She replies
She knows
They’re been sent
To get her


Come
I’ll take you there
To the boss 
You want to meet
It’s a suite
With a comfortable bed
She knows it’s a trap
The boss doesn’t operate
From this place

They will come to get me
She says
I’m going out
She walks 
Out

She spots a friend
He’s due to retire
Glad to see her
He takes her in
She sees the door
Of the big cabin
Walks in excited

She’s happy
But wants to know
Whether they’re using
The software
She had developed 
She’s unbalanced
Rage sets it

She races out
Ranting
God knows what
A kindly neighbour 
Has called
Her husband
They’re all there
To capture her
She rants she screams
Walks out
I have rights
Call the police 
She barks
Like a dog 
Pushed to a corner
There they are so many of them
The executives
They pretend 
Not to see
She’s psycho
Certified
She needs
To be take away

She doesn’t know
About
The Mental Health Act

Five or six
They manhandle her 
And off she is
In his car

Was he right
Was she wrong
Was she right
Was he wrong
Could this have been
Nipped in the bud
No one will ever know
Except HIM

Was it all
Just meant to be?

Thrice she was lost
But was sent home
By kind souls
Sent by HIM

Back 
From the streets
To her aunt’s home
To her home
Back
From the streets
To her hospital
To her home
Back from the streets
To her workplace
To her home

Wasn’t it her 
Who told them
Her cousin’s name

Wasn’t it her 
Who told the sister
About seven hills 

Who told him
Her workplace

Wasn’t it her
That told him
Her husband’s contact

Why did she tell?
Was it because
Deep in her heart
She still wanted 
To be back home?
Was it because
The Spirit in her
Showed her the way?
Was it just
A coincidence?


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